Beautiful Heartbreak

Monday was my sweet sister's birthday.  Each year for her birthday, the kids let off balloons in hopes that they will reach Katie and she will know we are thinking of her.  I love to see the kids get excited about doing something for Katie.  Although they have no memory of her, I have a feeling they knew her before I ever held them in my arms.  One day, they will remember her when they finally see her again.

Angel Kisses for Katie!

It is so hard for me to picture my sister as a 33 year old woman, since my last memories of her were as a 19-year old freshman at BYU.  Although I think of her often, whenever her birthday comes my thoughts are automatically drawn to her and things touch me in different ways than they usually do.  I seem to see things in a new light - no doubt due to the constant emotional state I am in on that day.

I was in the car driving the kids to school when Hilary Weeks' "Beautiful Heartbreak" came on.  I had heard this song a million times before, and I have always loved it, but for some reason the words of this song touched me differently that day.  As I thought about the meaning of her words, of course I thought of Katie and the heartbreak my family has gone through.  More importantly I also realized that through the loss of my sister, I have learned and grown so much in ways that would never have happened otherwise.  So many of our trials teach us lessons we would never have learned any other way, and although I wish she were still here and I could see her sweet face, I know that the view I have now could only have come through bearing this particular heartbreak.  

Happy Birthday, Katie!  I love you!

Still Alive and Kicking

In a perfect world, you are always on top of things...Then it's over six months later and you are finally updating your blog! At least I can say that it has been a really fun and crazy six months, moving from one thing to the next. I keep waiting for the time when I will have a few minutes to sit and catch up on my life, but those moments never seem to come. One day maybe, but not now. You would think I would already know that by now, but hey, I'm still hoping.
Don't worry, the big catch up will be coming, and with lots of pictures of course. I can't let December pass by and the New Year approach without sharing our family's little escapades.
For now, I hope everyone is enjoying a wonderful Christmas season! This is my favorite time of year! I love everything about it, but most of all the magic this time of year brings as it is reflected in the eyes of my sweet children. I love their wonder and joy at the littlest things; whether it's looking for our Elf Nicky every morning, or waiting to see what activity our advent calendar holds each day, or even watching the babies turn the Christmas tree lights on and off a billion times just to hear the musical ornaments over and over. Everything is exciting to them, everything is magical! I hope you are enjoying those same kind of magical moments!

Until I became a Mom...

"It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it."

I never understood why my parents could never call us by the right names....until I became a mom
I never knew you had to sweep a kitchen floor 4 times a day...until I became a mom
I never knew butterfly kisses were a bedtime ritual...until I became a mom
I never realized how wonderful peace and quiet actual is...until I became a mom
I never knew I would buy fruit snacks in bulk...until I became a mom
I never knew I would hear myself repeat the same phrase over and over, and over again...until I became a mom
I never thought waking up at 7:00am would be sleeping in...until I became a mom
I never knew I would have to schedule time just to talk with my husband...until I became a mom
I never knew complete shock...until I became a mom of twins, twice!
I never thought I would have a favorite Barbie movie...until I became a mom
I never knew you could watch Star Wars 3 times in one day...until I became a mom
I never knew the value of a backyard, or a basement...until I became a mom
I never thought I would excuse myself to use the "potty"...until I became a mom
I never knew the sound of laughter could melt my heart...until I became a mom
I never thought I would be a master at understanding gibberish...until I became a mom
I never knew "date night" meant falling asleep on the couch with my hubby while watching a movie from Netflix...until I became a mom
I never knew time to myself was a blessing...until I became a mom
I never thought it would be so difficult to take a picture...until I became a mom
I never thought I would become my mother...until I became a mom
I never knew tired...until I became a mom
I never knew true frustration...until I became a mom
I never knew true sadness...until I became a mom
I never knew true joy...until I became a mom
I never knew the capacity to love...until I became a mom
I never truly understood God's Plan of Happiness...until I became a mom!

To all you fabulous, wonderful women out there who have helped me become a better woman and mother, I am so blessed and privileged to have you all in my life! Happy Mother's Day! I love you!

Bits and Pieces of the Craziness!

After my mom's not so subtle hint today of "Well, I keep checking your blog to see if there is anything new yet", I figured I should just sit down and try to put all the random thoughts floating through my head down. I often wonder how time seems to slip by so quickly, especially when I look back on the day and feel as if nothing was accomplished. Maybe I picked up some toys, I know I did some driving from here to there, I think I did a load of dishes, maybe a load of laundry. But, then I look around at the house after the kids are all in bed, and the mess that is left in their wake, and wonder, "Did I really do those things, or was I just imagining it all?" Either way, it starts again the next day, and maybe tomorrow will be the day when I actually will accomplish something!
A couple weeks ago, the kids had their Spring Break. I wish I could report something fun and exciting, but instead Mike had to work quite a bit so we weren't able to pull off a fun trip anywhere. We stayed home and had a pretty relaxing time, which was pretty nice to have some down time. For the first week, while all the kids were home, it was so great to actually leisurely get up without worrying about having to get everyone off to school. Well, for the past few months I have been doing the Parker Boot Camp at 5:30 in the morning. Yes, I know, 5:30 is very early and a little insane, but with Mike's schedule, it is pretty much the only time that I am able to get a work out in. Actually, I really don't mind the early hour, and actually really love it! I love the amazing workout, I love having a certified trainer there organizing the workout for me and pushing me to test myself, and I love that I am actually doing something for me! I especially love the feeling of satisfaction I get each morning, knowing that no matter what happens throughout the day, at least I have accomplished something! I highly recommend it for anyone looking for that little kick to get yourself going.
Anyway, during that first week of Spring Break, I would actually come home and climb right back into bed, just because I could! When I would wake up around 8:00 am each day, Sam had already gotten the babies out of their cribs and changed their diapers. Is that not the best thing ever, or what?! Each morning I would tell her how awesome it was that she did that and how grateful I was to her for doing it. One morning she said, "Well mom, I just know that you are tired and needed to sleep. You work really hard."
Can I just tell you how much I love this little girl! She has most definitely been my saving grace, and such a blessing! She loves those little babies to death and is so sweet with them. She is always concerned for others, her family, friends, etc., and such a little peace maker. She is bright and intelligent, fun, and definitely a tender heart. I think the Lord definitely knew I needed her first, because she is half the reason I am able to make it through each day sane. I just look at her and see the amazing girl she is growing up to be, and although I hate to see her grow up so quickly, I am excited to see where her enthusiasm and thirst for life will take her.
Since Sam is pretty much a second mother around here, Gavin and Kaden are probably best labeled as the comic relief. These two, for as much as they constantly try my patience, are truly hilarious. I have no idea where they get some of the things they come up with. They are smart little stinkers too, which is a pretty deadly combination.
We have been having issues at night staying dry in their beds, so once they figured out that we would get upset when they kept wetting their beds, they started telling us that they got "sweaty" at night, and that is why they had changed their jammies.
We don't have "big toes" around here, we have "thumb toes".
One of their favorite things to do is to take a bath in Mike and I's tub since it is bigger. They love this because they get to do their "duties" in there. No, it's not what you are thinking! I have no idea where that term came from but it means they just put their goggles on and swim around our tub holding their breath. I don't think I have ever seen them take a bath without goggles on, come to think of it.
We will be in the car on our way to school, when one of them will say "Mom, I forgot my shoes!" Who forgets their shoes when they are going to school?
During Spring Break, Mike's parents were sweet enough to take the 3 older kids to Disney on Ice. They were all super excited, but when the boys heard it was going to be the "Princess Classics" show, they got a little concerned. "But mom, there won't be any boys in it! It will be too girly!" Of course there will be boys in it! "Will Shrek be in it? Buzz? Will there be any Jedi?" I think I was able to ease their concerns a bit when I told them the beast would be there, but it took them actually going and seeing the show to see that it was ok, and not too totally girly. And, they loved it of course!
Or tonight, while we were talking about Jesus and the meaning of Easter for Family Home Evening, when I mentioned that Jesus was buried in a tomb, they both said, "Tomb? Oh, like where the zombies live!" No, Easter is not about Zombies! Sometimes, I really wonder what I am teaching those two!
I have to admit though, these two really do love each other and look after one another. They get sad for the other if they are hurt or in trouble, and they stick up for each other when something happens at school. This summer is their trip to Disneyland with my parents and we have been trying to figure out if they should go separately or together. When I asked them what they wanted to do, they both immediately said "Together!" Why? "Because we will be scared without each other!" I don't know if that is a good thing, or a bad thing, but for now it's kind of cute.
And for the little ones. Still adorable, still cute, and getting bigger despite my protests! I knew it would happen one of these days, but I think we are finally there with Carter:

He is walking more and more every day and is going to be running around the house with Taylor pretty soon I can tell. One thing I know for sure though, this little guy is going to be our little ham! He already loves to tease all the other kids just to get a reaction out of them and has the best facial expressions! He loves to get into everything, and is pretty much my trouble maker, while Tay on the other hand, is content to calmly wander around the house with either a block or a light saber in his hand. These two are already starting to develop such different personalities, the next few years are going to be pretty fun trying to figure it all out! One thing is for sure though, they definitely have this whole family wrapped around their sweet little fingers!

Sami's big week

A few weeks ago Sami was one busy little girl!
Sami loves cheerleading, dancing, and all that fun stuff, so when we got a flyer offering the chance for elementary school girls to participate in a half time cheerleading performance for the Legend High School Basketball game, I knew this was right up her alley! So, we signed Sami up and for 2 days she went to a mini pom and cheer clinic and learned a few cheers and a dance routine. She was so excited and for about a week it was everything cheer around our house. That Friday, she had her performance. It was so cute! All the girls got a little t-shirt and I made her a hair bow to match the "Titan" colors. She was so darling and did such a great job.
Here is a little peek at their performance:

That same week, Sami had a choir concert for her school on "Goin' Green". For weeks she had been giving us lectures at home about recycling and taking care of the Earth. After her show, I figured out where it all came from. It was a super cute show, and being the little performer she is, she loved it and did a great job. I think my favorite part was watching her buzzing from friend to friend before the concert started, saying hello and giving hugs to everyone, and of course catching up on all the latest news and making plans for the weekend. (I didn't realize being a teenager really started when you were 7!)
That Friday was also crazy hair day. Which, of course, Sam had to go all out for.

Presenting Sami Lou Who!

It was so fun to see Sam involved in so many things, and to see how much she enjoyed it all. I love how this little girl embraces life and enjoys herself. She is such a creative little social butterfly, and I can't wait to see what activities she will eventually choose and excel at. It was a definite sneak peek into the near future, and my life as a taxi driver!

We train them young

Carter and Taylor are already following in their big brothers' footsteps...

Reality Vs.

Don't we all have visions of grandeur when it comes to life and just what we can accomplish each day? Then reality sets in, and we realize just how grand those visions really are. That seems to be pretty much me in a nutshell the past few weeks.
I've had so many "to do's" on my list, (yes updating my blog was one of them) which I was ready to tackle and finally finish, then reality set in and all 5 kids got sick, along with Mike.
Vision: This should only take a few days, and just a few of them should really be affected

Reality: All 5 had ear infections, 2 had croup, 1 had eye conjunctivitis which then spread to 2 others, all 5 had colds, 4 had pretty good coughs, 1 baby had diarreah, and 1 baby ended up with the stomach flu. All in all we had 2 fun weeks of a germ infested home, in which Mike was sick for a few days at the beginning, and now again at the tail end. Mom was the only one with a working immune system, and as a reward had to teach Mike's Gospel Doctrine class this past Sunday. Ok, sometimes being healthy is really overrated, and just gets you into trouble!

My sweet Carts when he just wasn't feeling well!

Vision: While the babies are taking a nap and the boys are in school, I will clean up the dishes, straighten up the house, and finish up the laundry.
Reality: The sink is still piled with dishes, there seems to have been a toy explosion in the house, and in between piles of folded clothes on my bedroom floor, there are still piles yet to be folded, but at least there are paths so you can get in and out of the room.
Vision: All of my unfinished projects will finally get done; the swag I'm attempting to make for the family room, the flower arrangement for my bathroom, the doll blanket for Sam, and the baby gifts that are very over due!
Reality: What's one more day?
Well, as you can see, reality is definitely ruling the roost over here! Of course I will hang on to my "visions of grandeur" and just keep hoping that one day they won't just be visions. But, just to keep it real, we all know there is always too much to do, there is never enough time, and there will always be dishes in the sink and laundry to fold. Reality wins every time!

May the Force be with you!

The boys preschool teacher told me about this commercial this morning when I dropped them off at school, so I had to check it out. It is hilarious! If you are wondering what Gavin and Kaden are up to these days, well this is them to a T!
Enjoy!
(Pause my music so you can hear the video)

At the Hop

On Friday Sami was able to go to her very first Sock Hop! Her elementary school put on a Sock Hop as a fundraiser and for days Sam couldn't talk about anything else. If you know Sam, she had to be there, and she had to be all decked out. So, what could I do? I had to make her a poodle skirt. Yes, you can stop laughing now, it is true. It even turned out pretty good. The best part was that Sam loved it! She looked so cute and had such a good time. Right when she saw her friends they all started screaming and jumping up and down. They were all so cute in their outfits, rockin out to 50's music! Sam was a little disappointed she didn't win the hula-hoop contest, or the cake walk, but the malt I got her afterward made up for it I think.
And in case you were wondering, where was I during all the fun girly screaming, dancing, and chattering - on the sidelines watching, having a flash-forward to the future!

My Crazy Brother

A couple of weeks ago, it was about three in the afternoon when I got a call from my brother asking me if I had gotten his text. Usually when I'm at home I don't always have my phone right near me, so I don't always get texts right away. So, when I answered no, my brother says, "Well, I guess it's too late then."
"Why? What did the text say?"
"Well, it was a picture of my itinerary. I'm here in Denver on a layover and my plane just landed."
"What?!"
That is so like my brother! He doesn't tell me his is coming, until he is already here. Luckily his wife reminded him that I might be a little bit busy with the kids and can't always look at my phone, and that it might be a good idea to call me. Thank you, Sarah!
Luckily he had a few hour layover and we aren't too far away from the airport. Mike was able to go pick him up so he could come and spend dinner with us before he had to go right back to the airport. We didn't have very long to spend with him, but it was good to just see him at all. We hadn't seen him since his wedding in July, and it was so fun to see how surprised the kids were when he walked in the door. Carter and Taylor weren't too sure about him, but soon enough they'll love their crazy Uncle Donny as much as the other kids do! Thanks for coming to visit us Donny! We love you! Next time you'll have to bring your wife along, and we might even let you stay longer than an hour! :)

Ringing in the New Year, before it's too late

In just a few hours, January will be completely gone, already, and I couldn't let the month completely pass without ringing in the New Year and making those lovely traditional resolutions! This past year seems to have gone by in a whirlwind, and now January is already over and 2011 is well under way. I guess I keep waiting for life to slow down, but it just never does. Of course last year was pretty full for us, as there was always something going on without too much time to rest between events, and this year will probably be just as busy!
This will be a big year for the Hansen's - Sami will turn 8 and be baptized this summer, Gavin and Kaden will start Kindergarten in the Fall, after two years of planning and designing, Mike will be able to move int0 the new ICU wing at the hospital this Spring, my dad's family will be having our very first Bills family reunion this summer, and this is the year the kids will get to have a go at recreational sports. There is so much to look forward too, including all the other exciting surprises that always seem to pop up. So I guess in light of the crazy pace our life seems to be moving at the moment, (which I know will only continue to get crazier) my New Years Resolution is to pretty much hang on and enjoy the ride! I can't keep waiting for life to slow down, because it only keeps going from here, so all I can do is hang on, have patience during the frustrating times, smile during the fun times, just push through the trying times, and take those crazy times a little less seriously, and try to organize the chaos of the house and schedules as best I can. I know I've said it before, but basically just enjoy the journey! This journey only comes along once!

Television might not be a good thing

You know, sometimes you definitely can have too much of a good thing, though in this case, I'm just not sure T.V. can be classified as a "good thing".
I'm sure you've all had this experience; the T.V. is on, you aren't necessarily watching it and going about doing other things. Then you hear, "Mom, look! I want that!", and then the kids proceed to tell you all about the coolest new toy they just saw on TV and have to have. Yes, we've had many "gotta have" toys come through the house, which have since been forgotten. But it doesn't necessarily have to be toys, we've had the same scenario played out with food as well, but lately it is the phrases that seem to be infiltrating our home.
We were getting ready for dinner the other night and the boys were chewing gum. I asked them to spit it out and Gavin tells me, "No, I'm just going to put it behind my ear."
And of course I said, "Ewe! No, throw it away."
"But mom, then I would be a loser! I don't want to be a loser, I want to be a champion!"
If this sounds familiar, yes you would be right, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp.
Or how about, "Mom, you give me the willies!" (Taken from one of the cartoons they were watching the other night.)
And definitely one of my favorites, which came from Sam when she was 3, "You are ruining my life!" Yes, she actually said that to me once after I sent her to time out. Thank you, Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus!
Even though it's actually pretty funny to hear some of the things the kids pick up, at the same time, it's also pretty scary. The things I notice while I am watching, even things that come up on the cartoon channels, make me worry about what the kids see and hear when I'm not watching. Is it any wonder that I won't let my kids watch movies like Matilda? Although it is a cute story, the way the brother and parents treat the little girl is horrible, not to mention the names the "Trunchbull" calls the kids. I really don't need my kids repeating all that.
Right now, I am very grateful that they don't pick up on all the innuendos, and don't get all the jokes yet, but those blissful days of ignorance will be over soon, and then I will really have to be careful. No, I don't think I can completely shelter my kids from things I might find unpleasant or inappropriate, but I can at least control some of the exposure they will have. There are enough things my kids face that is beyond my control, so why not take care of some of the things within my control? The older they get, the scarier it is, and although I know they need to learn and grow, my parental instinct says to keep them close and protect them. I'm sure that will never change, but unfortunately the things they hear from the T.V. are just the beginning. I'm definitely not quite ready for the rest of it yet. I guess all I can do is cross my fingers, and pray all those small teaching moments are getting through.

Stop!

As far as I'm concerned there are sounds, and then there are words. To me "ma" and "da" are just sounds, yes, they are definitely what the babies use when they want either Mike or I, and even at that they don't say them consistently (ok, maybe "ma" they do!). Then there is "uh-oh", this one is a pretty average one too. I'm not really sure why they pick it up, but all my kids did, probably because that is what I say when they keep throwing their sippy cups on the ground, regardless it is still more of a sound than a word. Then of course there are the built-in sound effects that just come with boys - "vroom" while they are pushing cars, "grrrr" when they are chasing each other and being rough, and the fun screaming when they want something or when they are mad. So, as I hear all these sounds daily I think of them as more developmental than something of a mild stone, but I think we've finally got a winner.
While I was feeding the boys lunch the other day, I had the babies in their high chairs with their bits and pieces of finger foods on their trays, and Gavin and Kaden were sitting near them at the table. Of course, as usual, Gavin and Kaden were playing around and in between bites, felt the need to "play" with the babies (play is a loose term, you may also insert bug, annoy, etc.). Out of nowhere I hear this "Stop!". I turned around to see where it came from, and then Taylor said it again, as clear as day, with the "p" and everything, "Stop!". It was the funniest thing, and definitely a word, not a sound! Since then of course we've tried to get him to just say it, but he won't say it whenever, he is very purposeful when he uses it. He will only say it when someone is bugging him, or when you are doing something he doesn't like, such as trying to clean out his nose, change his diaper, take something away from him, or when the boys pick him up and mess with him. I have even heard him say it to Carter when they are crawling and Carter is going a little too fast for him. He even rats Carter out when he is trying to escape from our little barricade in the family room by telling him to "Stop!".
I can't say that I'm all that surprised, with the brothers he has, this seems like a very appropriate first word. And although he is very deliberate about using it and will only use it when necessary, I'm sure you can guess that we still hear it quite often.

Now I'm just curious as to what Carter's first word will be...

I don't usually play favorites...

Today was a pretty good day, as far as my daily dose of chaos goes. I got most of the laundry done and the kitchen is actually all clean. I am even all caught up on the dishes - normal for most of you I'm sure, but a huge accomplishment for me. So, I was feeling pretty good about myself when I noticed that I was going to be late to pick up Sam from school if I didn't leave right then. I rushed Gavin and Kaden into the car and ran up to the babies' room to grab Carter and Taylor from their naps. As soon as I opened the door I was greeted with the wonderful aroma of stinky diaper and a little naked baby lying in his crib. Yes, all the clothes were off, diaper was off and Carter was enjoying life commando style! Upon closer inspection there were remnants of said diaper all over the sheets, crib, blankets, and of course, all over Carter. Well, I was already late, so what could I do? Yep, I put a new diaper on that crusty little bottom, put him back in his discarded clothes and strapped him into the car seat - and nope, I didn't even attempt to clean him up, the bath would have to wait until after we picked up Sam. Of course Sam, Gavin, and Kaden thought it was hilarious, and were grossed out (as they were laughing) when they each ran to the babies' room to check out the scene of the crime. Sure, it's all fun and games - until you are the one who has to clean it all up! (I seem to have to be doing that a lot lately...) Like I said, I don't usually play favorites, but today I think I love Taylor the most.

Baby Steps

I just thought you might like to see how well we are getting around these days...


Carter isn't quite on the same page yet, but he is pretty speedy...

Why Grandpa Don is the best babysitter!

Sunday night, just before Mom and Dad left to go back to Texas, we were all busily doing our thing: Mike was in the kitchen making his famous pizza for everyone, the boys were off playing with their toys, Sam was playing with her new American Girl doll, Dad was watching a football game, and Mom and I were on the computer ordering pictures. The babies were on the floor in the family room with Grandpa Don,who was watching them, being super good and playing quietly. Well, after a few minutes when they started getting upset we figured out why they were so quiet...Somehow the babies had gotten a hold of one of the kids' M&M candy canes, had gotten it open, and had been eating all the M&Ms! No wonder they were so quiet - their mouths were full of chocolate! My dad only noticed something was wrong when they started getting mad that the candy was all gone. To top it all off, my dad's team lost the game! (Serves him right, I say. He left the next morning, and left me with all the fun diapers that resulted from the candy binge!)Oh well, we love him anyway! I guess we'll even let him babysit again...as long as there isn't a football game on!

A Christmas Party at Sunshine Preschool

The week before Christmas the boys preschool put on a cute Christmas program. The boys had been practicing for weeks both at home and at school and were super excited for the big day. Grandma and Grandpa Hansen even surprised the boys and were able to come and watch. After the little concert they had yummy treats and hot chocolate for the kids to enjoy. I really love their preschool and all the cute, fun things they do. Both Gavin and Kaden have been really happy there and I have seen them both grow so much in just a few short months.

Kaden and Gavin with their cute teachers, Ms. Julie and Ms. Nancy

Merry Christmas!

As a child, it seemed that it took FOREVER for Christmas to get here, and now, as an adult, Christmas comes and goes all too quickly! I can't believe that only a week ago, my children were still anxiously awaiting Santa's arrival and waking each morning excited to search for "Nicky", our family's very own elf, to see where he had chosen as his new hiding spot. They had that special sparkle in their eyes, that Christmas glow, that comes with the anticipation of what they will find on Christmas morning.
Even though I knew there was going to be nothing under the tree for me, I too have been filled with that special Christmas glow. This year was our first Christmas in our new house. I know I've said this before, but this house has truly been such an amazing blessing for our family. Every day I am so thankful for this gift, and as I watch my children I can see the joy this house has brought to all of us, from providing a bedroom for the babies, to having enough space for the kids to play, to giving Mike his own quiet place to study, and providing a kitchen big enough for me to entertain in, and prepare a holiday meal. This house has meant so much to us, and being able to enjoy our first Christmas here surrounded by family made this holiday that much more special to all of us.
My parents came last Monday to enjoy Christmas with our family. The kids were so excited, and for days kept asking when Grandma Ral and Papa Don were going to get here - and since they've left, I don't think a day has gone by without someone saying how much they miss them. My parents live in Texas, so unfortunately we only get to see them about twice a year, and having them with us for Christmas this year has been a highlight for the kids, since we haven't seen them since July.
One of the first things we did when they got here was to have a girls night out! Sami loves to hang out with just us girls, since she's the only one (as she keeps reminding me), so Sami, Grandma Ral, and I went to dinner and a movie - Tangled! It was such a fun night, and the movie was so cute. I think Grandma likes to spoil Sami a little to make up for all the boys she has to live with!
Next it was off for a visit with Santa! I know, waiting until the night before Christmas Eve is cutting it a little close, but we still made it in time. Besides, with our own personal elf, he was able to carry a few messages to Santa for us. We had big, grand plans of taking the kids to see Santa's village and petting the reindeer, but in the end we had to settle for visiting Santa at the mall, which turned out cute in the end. I'm just curious as to when going to see Santa became so complicated?
On Christmas Eve Mike's parents came down to spend Christmas with us, so we were able to have all the grandparents here for the holidays. It was so wonderful to have everyone here! Of course the kids were in heaven, and both Mike and I felt so blessed to be surrounded by so many of the people we love. The day was filled with cooking, spending time together, and of course tracking Santa's flight! That night we enjoyed a yummy meal together and each took turns sharing something we were grateful for, one of my favorite holiday traditions! After dinner we had a little traditional Bills Family Christmas Eve program (abbreviated of course due to small attention spans) where we all took turns sharing songs, stories, and talents. I love this part of Christmas Eve. It is when we slow down and take time together as a family to remember the true meaning of Christmas and celebrate our Savior.
Christmas morning was exactly what it should be - a full house with excited children who just can't wait to see what Santa brought them! Santa was very good to the kids this year, thanks to some help from generous grandparents and the kids were very happy and excited by their gifts. Of course my favorite part was watching their sweet faces and seeing them about to explode with excitement! I love the wonder, the joy, and especially the magic of Christmastime! It only lasts for such a short while, so I want to make the most of it for my children. I love their whole hearted belief in something so magical and special! I wish that feeling could last forever, but even now, I see the sprigs of doubt being planted in them from the outside world. I will help them hold on to that belief for as long as I can, but once the magic is gone and doubt takes over, I truly hope they will still be able to find that that special Christmas Spirit alive in their hearts.
Merry Christmas! I hope the magic and wonder was enjoyed in your home as it was in ours. We have enjoyed such a wonderful holiday and I am so sad to see it go. It was so fun for us have all the grandparents here together, and of course, there were tearful goodbyes when they left. They made this Christmas so special for our family, and we will have many wonderful memories to look back on and enjoy. We love you!

A Big Day for Taylor!

Well, I really didn't want to, but it had to be done.
I'm not used to having a baby with so much hair! Our babies are usually bald, Carter included, and don't need a cut until they are about two, but Tay is another story. He is our only child born with hair, and now at 15 months is in desperate need of a haircut. I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but once they get that hair cut, they just start looking like little boys, and not babies anymore, and I'm just not quite ready for that yet! But, as I said it had to be done, so I reluctantly succumbed to the pressure, bit the bullet and took him in for his first haircut the other day. He was fine while she was getting the cover on him, but wasn't too happy about having to sit still, and definitely did not like it when she had to hold his head straight, but in the end we got the job done, and of course he looks adorable. My sweet boys are just growing up, yes I know, it's bound to happen, but I just wasn't expecting it to come so soon.
Lets, not even get me started on the fact that Tay will probably start walking any day now...

A Journey of Thanksgiving

I love this time of year! I love the smell of Fall in the air - even though it didn't last too long around here and winter is already upon us - I love the colors, the chill, and most importantly the feel of the Holiday Season! I love that we start off the Holidays with a gathering of family and friends to remind us of all that we have and are grateful for! This hasn't been an easy year for many, and although it's been quite a crazy one for us as well, we can't doubt that even with the many challenges we've had to bear, we have also been truly blessed and really do have an abundance to be thankful for! This year has taught me many things, but one theme that seems to have appeared quite often is the lesson that many of the blessings we receive come through sacrifice. I've thought a lot about this in my moments of "why me" weakness when all I wanted was for things to go exactly according to my plans, and for the most part, they never did. But, then, in my stronger moments, I realize that it is the struggle and bitterness of those sacrifices that make the blessings truly sweet. Yes, how fabulous would it be if we got all we wanted and life always went according to plan, but, honestly, what kind of people would we be? Thanksgiving would have no meaning, and because we knew no struggle, the blessing would be meaningless. So, yes, I am thankful for my struggles, I am thankful for my moments of doubt, weakness, and sadness. Those many moments have molded my life and have provided the way to so many amazing gifts and cherished memories that are precious to me.
This year we were able to have all of Mike's family over for Thanksgiving. It was a true blessing to have us all together since the opportunity doesn't come very often. My sweet friend Shannon came over and took pictures of the family, which I know will be a treasure for all of us, as health issues could possibly prevent many more family gatherings in the future. As I sat around our Thanksgiving table looking at our family, and listening to all the cousins laughing and enjoying spending time together, I was so overcome with gratitude for these wonderful people in my life, who have always been there to guide, comfort, and support us. Having the love of a family is another of life's greatest blessings. I am so lucky, and truly blessed to have a life full of love. No matter the pain that comes, and it always does, knowing you are loved brings great strength and comfort during those times of weakness.
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and had the chance to reflect on the amazing blessings this life has brought you. I hope that attitude of gratitude carries you through this wonderful season and brings you peace and comfort through your times of doubt. There is so much to be grateful for, the pain, the joy, the bitter and the sweet.
Enjoy the journey!