Mysterious Ways!

I think we've all heard the phrase, "The Lord works in mysterious ways." I can't even begin to tell you how true this is! Many of you know the history and health complications I had with my twin boys, but for those of you who don't, here is a short little run down. At 31 weeks I ended up with HELLP syndrome, which is a very severe form of pregnancy induced hypertension, or pre-eclampsia. Basically, you become at risk for liver failure, seizures, coma, or even death. Needless to say, as soon as the doctors saw how bad my condition had become, they induced me right away and delivered the boys. Gavin and Kaden stayed in the hospital for 2 months, and I stayed for a week, while they tried to get my liver functions back to normal. After coming home I was on steroids for about 6-8 weeks to treat the condition. You would think that after all of that, I would be content with our family and not feel rushed to have any more children. But, even in the midst of all this, there was always another child in the back of my mind. I've always known there was at least one more child waiting to come to our family and despite everything, I couldn't forget about it. Mike, on the other hand, was completely satisfied with the 3 we had, and had no desire to risk my health again. So, for 4 years now, we've been at odds about whether or not we should have any more children. It has been very difficult for both of us, and very emotional at times. Finally, in January we agreed that we would try for one more child. Now for the "mysterious" part: The day we got home from our trip to Utah we found out that I was pregnant. Last week was our first appointment and ultrasound. All we wanted to see in the ultrasound was one healthy little baby, and for some reason, that was just not the Lord's plan for us. If you can see where this is going, yes, I am pregnant with twins...again! Needless to say, my first reaction was tears, and lots of them! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! Seriously, what are the odds of this happening again, with no family history and no fertility drugs? This time though, they are fraternal, which means I have two of everything. My doctor is really hopeful at this point, since the two placentas should be less stress on me and the babies than the one placenta I had with the boys, since they are identical. I have had to change doctors since I delivered the boys, and am really happy with my new doctor. He is checking every possible resource to see what can be done at this point, and I feel really comfortable that he will do everything he can to take care of us. Thank you Laura for the recommendation!

So, what now? Well, at this point I am 8 weeks along, and of course already showing-I'm just not lucky enough to be one of those cute little pregnant women who only pop out right before the due date, I get BIG, and I mean, really BIG! :) My official due date is Nov. 26 - Thanksgiving, but we figure the babies will probably get here the end of September, beginning of October depending on how well things go. Right now all we can do is pray and know that this is the Lord's plan for us. We are trying to get everything in order that needs to be done, mainly selling this house and buying a new one. Luckily our van seats 7 so we are still good with our current car. Other than that, we figure we will do as much as we can to prepare, and rely on the Lord to help us with the things that are out of our control. Never before have we felt like our lives are so completely in the Lords hands, as much as they are at this moment. As anxious and nervous as we are right now, we know this is His will and we just have to trust that everything will be ok. Even with that faith, I have to admit I've still had a few hard days of worry, but luckily Mike has been so completely amazing and supportive from the moment we saw the twins in the ultrasound. He was right there holding my hand and drying my eyes, telling me everything would be ok. He has been my rock through this whole crazy week, and I can't even imagine what I would do if he wasn't so absolutely calm and put together right now. This is exactly what he was afraid of, and not once has he shown any regret or anxiety over the situation. He is wonderful, and I am so lucky to have him! The kids are all really excited, and it is so neat to see how tender they are toward the babies, even now, and to hear them talk about them in their prayers. We might even have a chance to please everyone, since Sam wants a sister and the boys want a brother! We'll find out in a couple months. As for me, as long as one is a girl, I'm happy. I love my boys dearly, but I've already been there, done that with the twin boy thing - a change would be nice. :)And here's the proof! Yes, the Lord truly does work in mysterious ways!!

Crazy Days!

Happy April Everyone!
I can't believe it is April already! Really, where has the time gone??? And to top it all off, Spring finally gets here, but so does all the snow. I'm watching the weather reports that show temps all over the country and long for those 70 degree days I see popping up in various parts of the country - but of course not here in Colorado! I am so ready for winter to be over!! Yes, we need the moisture, but really, snow? now? You would think for as long as I've lived here I would be over this kind of weather, but no, not really, every year I just keep hoping. At least I can say that it is melting pretty quickly, at least there's a positive side.
So, besides going crazy about the weather, we have actually had a pretty crazy life lately, so here's a run down for those enquiring minds dying to know:
Trip to Utah
(Of course I do have many pictures, but due to some little technical difficulties, they will just have to come later. )
In mid March we took a little trip to Utah and had a quick Bills family reunion, minus a few members of the family. March 15th marked the 10th anniversary of my little sister Katie's death. We all decided that we wanted to be together in Utah where she was buried to mark the occasion. It was the first time since her death that we all had a chance to be there together, and although it was definitely not the happiest of occasions, it was really amazing to be there with everyone. As we sat around trying to reminisce about Katie and describing who she was to our kids who never had the chance to know her, we shared some very special moments with each other, full of both tears and laughter. Sam's favorite part was that the fact that Katie was short kept coming up. For some reason she found this pretty hilarious, though I'm not sure why considering the towering height of her mother! :) I'm so glad we all went together and were able to spend such a difficult day with those we love, talking about our own special guardian angel.
Along with spending time with my family, we were able to visit many of our friends and other family members we haven't seen in quite a while. It was a really quick trip, packed with tons of adventures from visiting Temple Square in Salt Lake to walking around good old BYU down in Provo. We don't get back to visit very often, but always have a great time when we go. Thanks to all our family and friends who took care of us and took time out of their busy life to see us. And, for those we couldn't catch this time around, we definitely missed you and hope to see you next time we get back in town. We love you all and had a great time!

Congrats to Mike!
A few days after we got back from Utah, Mike had his Nightingale banquet. Mike was a nominee for the Denver/Boulder area last year, and was nominated for a second time this year. The Nightingale Award is a nursing award given to outstanding nurses across the country. Out of over 200, 000 nurses in the area there were only 181 nominees, of which, only 7 were men. It is really a great tribute to Mike and his abilities as a nurse that he has been nominated twice for this award and shows how many people at the hospital; patients, co-workers, and supervisors really appreciate what he does and how hard he works. I am so proud of him and of course already know how great he is! :)

And the rest...
As for the rest of the story, we are just going through our day like everyone else. I'm just trying to get the motivation to get on top of it all, instead of just surviving. I'm thinking that as soon as the weather gets nice, then the motivation will return (ahh, there's that darn weather again...). :) It's not so bad though, the kids are great, and happy, and either keep us laughing or pulling our hair out.
Oh life, it's such a great thing!